November 15th, 2022
6minute read
Gunther Lipwicz had not grown up aspiring to be a villain.
His father was a barber and his mother a member of the church auxiliary.
However, after a brief stint in the West German Bundeswehr he found himself at loose ends.
The Sterling submachine gun is one of the iconic weapons of the 20th Century. Developed to fight Nazi Germany, the gun may be familiar to many readers from movies they have seen.
He had answered an advert in the back of a gentlemans magazine, and so here he was.
His employer was one Ernst Stavro Blofeld, Number 1 of Spectre.
Lipwicz had only met Herr Blofeld once during basic henchman orientation.
The Sterling is built from drawn steel tubing with pressed steel particulars yet remains a reliable and rugged design.
Lipwicz found his incessant stroking of that silly cat a bit off-putting.
Working for Spectre had its perks.
A few of his classmates had actually been assigned to an orbital space station bristling with nuclear weapons.
British soldiers from the Queen’s Dragoon Guards fire L2A3 Sterling submachine guns during weapons training at Abu Hydra Range in Operation Desert Storm. DoD photo: SSGT. J.R. Ruark
Regardless, the pay was good, and Spectre offered a very competitive dental plan.
This day Lipwicz had drawn guard duty at the Doomsday machine Central Control Facility.
Buried deep within the bowels of a dormant volcano, the DDCCF was considered impervious to ground assault.
The Sterling (rear) was designed in 1944 as a replacement for the unrefined Sten gun. A fun fact is that the Sterling will feed just fine from either Sterling or Sten mags.
Entry and exit was via a cool underground tram system, and thankfully the place was air-conditioned.
Many evil Spectre lairs were more austere.
Comrades had warned him, however, to step lively around the Bosss swimming pool.
The British L2A3 Sterling submachine gun served the crown for decades. It also featured prominently in a variety of classic James Bond movies.
It was purportedly filled with ravenous sharks.
The uniform this day was a blue satin jumpsuit and a red beret.
Lipwicz thought the outfit looked lame, but it was likely crafted by the guy with the creepy cat.
USMC LCpl R. Keegan fires the 9mm L2A3 Sterling SMG during a cross-training portion of Exercise EDGED MALLET 2003 in Manda Bay, Kenya. Photo: Cpl J. Sisto, USMC
Today would likely just involve a great deal of standing around, just like most days.
Evil lair security was a peachy billet.
His first indication that something was amiss was an ominous rumble.
The gracefully curved 34-round Sterling magazine is arguably the finest ever crafted.
Then he heard shouting in the distance.
They had security drills all the time, but this felt different.
This time the evil scientists were scurrying about, moving with a purpose.
USAF SrA J. Henderson discusses training with Indian Air Force Sgts S. Mandal and P. Singh at Air Force Station Agra. IAF Sgt Singh is armed with a 9mm L2A3 Sterling SMG. Photo: MSgt V. Gempis USAF
In moments the big screen display above the lab started counting down.
He hoped that wasnt something bad.
Nobody ever told him anything.
The Sterling SMG (left) formed the foundation for the BlasTech E-11 Blasters used in the movieStar Wars.
Gunther Lipwicz had prepared his entire adult life for this moment.
He unslung his well-oiled Sterling, pulled the bolt to the rear, and oriented toward the smoking doorway.
All of his many years of training came down to this.
The first man through the doorway was a tall figure wearing black and carrying a diminutive German handgun.
He was immediately followed by a smoking hot blonde in a tight red leather jumpsuit.
The girls platinum curls were perfectly permed and shimmered in the pulsating red of the emergency lights.
Sterling SMG: The Henchmans Subgun
James Bond.
Men want to be him.
Today I thought it might be entertaining to tell the story from the perspective of a longsuffering henchman.
The gun our henchman carried, however, is indeed a rarefied piece of iron.
The Sterling submachine gun was initially developed in 1944 as a replacement for thedubious Sten.
For starters, the Sterling used a much-improved magazine.
The mag body sports a gentle curve to accommodate the geometry of Georg Lugers timeless 9mm Parabellum cartridge.
The magazine follower also incorporates a novel pair of roller bearings to ensure minimal friction during feeding.
The gun fires from the open bolt via advanced primer ignition.
The folding stock on the Sterling is complicated but effective.
The fire selector is oriented underneath the right thumb when firing right-handed.
Rear is safe, the middle position is semi, and the forward notch is rock and roll.
Placing the gun on safe locks the bolt in place in either position.
The Sterling cycles at around 550 rounds per minute and is eminently controllable.
The side-mounted magazine makes the gun an easy piece to run from the prone.
The L34A1 suppressed variant is still one of the most effective sound-suppressed close-quarters combat weapons in the world.
