Ever felt that as you get older, its harder to form new relationships?
Youre not alonewhich is why we wrotethis primer on how to make friends as an adult.
In good times and bad, friends are the people who are always there for us.
But in the messy world of adulthood, good friends are hard to come by.
View in gallery
Its no secret that as we grow older, our obligations change.
We begin to focus on long-term goals, like buying a house or starting a family.
As old friends come and go, our social circle grows smaller.
Our adult lives morph into a haze of work, family, and kids.
Limited free time pushes our desire to meet new people to the backburner.
Before we know it, were struggling tostart a conversationwith a friendly neighbor or coworker.
Why Do Adults Find it Hard to Make Friends?
Lets be honest: Making friends is hard.
According to research,our social circles start to shrink around 25.
Well, life happens.
People in their mid to late 20s tend to embark on the next significant chapter of their life.
This ultimately leavesvery little time for a new friendship, much less old ones.
To add, our social environment and attitudes change as we grow older.
Its easy to make friends as kids because were encouraged to do so.
Mix in some social anxiety, and making a new friend can feel like finding a unicornimpossible.
The good news is that new friendships arent unicorns!
Moreover, theyre essential to our well-being.
Unfortunately, when we dont have friends, feelings of shame and unworthiness may take root instead.
You may be discouraged from forming connections or trying new things.
You may even think that friends arent worth the effort, but science says others.
Of course, thats easier said than done.
Figuring outif someone likes youcan be challenging, especially if youre out of practice.
It also doesnt help that the very idea of putting yourself out there is probably nauseating.
Meanwhile, making friends as an adult calls for deliberate effort.
Whether thats a networking event or a dinner with coworkers,try not to overthink the process.
If youre lacking confidence, rely on the tried and true method of fake it till you make it.
With every attempt, youll gradually become more comfortable, and your fear of rejection will lessen.
Find the Time
The reality of adulthood is that everyone is busy.
Set aside time every week for plans with potential new friends.
If someone extends an invitation first, accept it.
This may be your coworkers, neighbors, or a friendly stranger you see during your daily commute.
These people may be potential friends.
To start, make a list of names and examine who youd like to get to know better.
Find the common denominator between you two and gradually open up.
This isnt necessarily a bad thing!
However, a small but tight-knit social circle may be more practical for you in the long run.
Know Youre Likable
Good relationships are built on shared vulnerability.
This vulnerability comes easier if you start believing youre a likable and interesting person.
To achieve this, open up about your life andask questions about theirs.
Its tough to meet new people this way.
Meaningful relationships dont spring out of thin air, but thats no excuse not to go looking!
Best case scenario: You discover a close friend through the app.
You dont vibe, and you go on to match with someone else.
Social Media
Social media helps us connect.
If used healthily, theyre a great way to interact with people you otherwise wouldnt in real life.
If you dont have an account, consider making one.
you could also use social media as a way to nurture bonds youve already established.
Get involved with your community and give volunteering a try.
you’ve got the option to also get to know your neighbors or your childrens friends parents.
you could also check out your workplace for networking events and get to know your co workers.
Join a Club
Activity clubs are a great way to meet people.
If you like to read, look up book clubs in your area.
Alternatively,pick up a new hobby!
Trying new things takes a lot of courage, and its less scary when you do it with others.
How to Maintain New Friendships
All good friendships require consistent and healthy communication.
Without it, your friends will struggle to stay in your life and gradually become distant.
Furthermore, a good friend doesnt make the relationship revolve all around them.
In return, they should do the same for you.
However, once youve found your tribe, youll have someone (or several!)
to support you through lifes ups and downs.
Though it may take some time, itll be worth the effort in the end.
