Heres 12 tips and tricks to make your Turkey Day a happy one.
Managing your feelings is the first step to managing a quality conversation that doesnt become toxic.
Defuse the Bomb
Make a pact with your family in advance for everyone to avoid hot-button topics.
via abdelrahman.deviantart.com
Be the voice of diplomacy and reason.
Begin by saying that you arent going to touch anything you know might upset anyone, leading by example.
Odds are good that no one really wants to start a brawl while theres stuffing to be had.
Listen
Hostage negotiators advisebuilding a bondwith people before trying to persuade them to do anything.
That means hearing what they have to say, free of judgement or reaction.
Allowing them to speak costs you nothing, and allows you to hear their point of view.
I see and Thats interesting are far better responses than offering up your own arguments.
Dont assume you know what they are thinking.
Talk about the future and how they see things working out.
It never hurts to learn something.
you’ve got the option to have opinions about their insanity later.
During family time you dont need to carve them up.
You do not persuade by argument, you persuade by engaging in dialog and rational discussion.
It comes as a response to fear, pain, or frustration.
Fear leads to anger.
Anger leads to hate.
Hate leads to suffering.
That doesnt mean you gotta meet that with more anger, which just feeds the fire.
I understand youre upset, and thats tough.
Theres nothing we can do about it.
or a similar statement of empathy is helpful for showing you get where theyre coming from.
By thinking about their motives you’re free to relate them to your own experience.
Or, alter the topic to something you do agree upon: At least you dont live in Syria.
Think of anyone who disagrees with you as a small child who is confused.
This will help you forgive their point of view as merely being ignorant, but still important to them.
Deflect
I understand but dont agree.
Everyone with an opinion can agree thats a good thing.
If that doesnt work, patently change the subject.
Stage a Walk Out
This can be done two ways.
Take a walk to burn some of those calories.
Get them secluded and then let them vent, showing them understanding and compassion.
Now shut up and eat.
